It's a really strange feeling when you are wondering if you are pregnant...
Just your average Monday afternoon... I was walking home after dropping a bucket full of urine off at hospital for my 24 hour protein test (another new joy waiting to discover if I have kidney disease following an abnormal sample at my last diabetes consultation). Follow this by getting on the wrong bus and only noticing once you're half way to Putney, then realising that your period was due today and you haven't started yet - basically just another average day...So, into Boots I strolled thinking I'll buy a test just in case, the chances I knew would be slim, we'd only been "trying", and by trying I simply mean stopped using condoms but every other element of our sex life had stayed the same, no ovulation tests, no special diets, no go ahead from the hospital because my HbA1c was still too high (yes, we are bad and ignored this thinking by the time we got pregnant I'd have that part sorted), for 3 weeks.... 3 WEEKS....
Turns out all you need is 3 weeks. I got home, pee'd on a stick whilst deciding what to cook myself for dinner then watched in utter disbelieve as the cross symbol appeared so clear it was like a homing beacon. The smile came first, this stupid grin across my face as I sat on the bathroom floor just staring at this test. I was pregnant.
I then, as I'm sure all expectant mothers who are silly enough to do a pregnancy test alone 5 hours before their husbands are due home started thinking of things I could do to keep busy because I couldn't tell hubby over the phone. I had rung him with no real plan in mind and proceeded to tell him we needed to talk when he got back and could he not be too late please - what was I thinking?! - no idea what he thought I could possibly want to talk about!
Before he came home I decided another test was probably wise and sure enough I watched this result appear, in slight fear the first one had made a mistake, but nope there is was - the pregnancy symbol (yes I was too cheap to spend the money on those digital ones that spell out the word).
The proof is in the pee...
Happy to report that when hubby did come home he seemed pleased (but I'll let him tell you his version) and there we were, two people suddenly excited by this monumental change....
Excited yes, terrified also, because unfortunately let's not forget I'm a type 1 diabetic with suspected kidney disease and a HbA1c that is higher than recommended for pregnancy. But, here we are, pregnant and trying everyday to get my blood sugar to the best levels I possibly can and praying that I do not damage this tiny little being.
Anyway, that's all a bit rude, I haven't introduced myself properly. I'm Squidge's mum. A 30 year old, type 1 diabetic, living in London, married to an amazing man, typical in most ways, exercise some but not enough, eat well, enjoy life and wine oh and i've recently quit smoking. Love films, chilling, trying new things and spending time with family and friends...
So, that's me, Squidge's mum. I hope you enjoy reading our journey of pregnancy.
